Christmas!!

This was by far the best Christmas I've had in such a long time! My nephew is 2 and he "gets" the whole Santa thing. Watching him leave the cookie and milk and say "NO! Leave it! Santa's" was hilarious and watching him walk downstairs to see a half-eaten cookie and TONS of stuff under the tree was amazing. I know I am biased, but he really is a good, good soul.

There is some family drama potentially brewing, but I'll save writing about it until it's all kind of out in the open. The important thing is everyone is healthy!

I have ZERO plans for NYE. I have such mixed feelings about it. I feel like I "should" do something but do I really want to?? On top of that, it's such a "couple" holiday, or seems to be anyway-I just don't want to jinx the happiness and contentment of the last week. So maybe it'll just be a normal ol' night in Mel's life...

is it me, or...

Here's the thing. If I do not agree with you, that does not mean I am an idiot, judgemental, a bitch or any other insult you want to throw my way...it is merely just that I disagree with you. Earlier today, Jen posted a silly note on FB on her views of obesity in America. There was one person in particular that said she was superficial and judgemental. So, me being me, #1 felt the need to defend her and #2 also wanted to point out the fact that different people have different perspectives AND bodies respond differently to different medication/illnesses etc. Next thing I know...I'm a judgemental bitch? WTFever! People are allowed to have opinions, and sure one of those opinions can be that I'm a bitch HOWEVER do NOT in the same statement say "You shouldn't judge without knowing a person" and then turn around to say "You're superfical" Hypocrytical much?

Maybe I am a bitch...wouldn't be the first time somone has said it. I'll have to take some time to self-reflect on that one...

blog what?

Sooo...I always think I have so much to say and then when I start to type, I can't figure out how to make it sound right...

The latest struggle is anger...but not...more frustration with a sadness twist. It still feels like everything I do I continue to compare to what I would've been doing if things had been different with "him". The house, the town, the job, the relationship status, the kids, everything should've been different and it isn't. I suppose it wouldn't bother me as much if I didn't know how he feels, but I do, because the shit head continues to tell me that he still loves me. Which really just adds to the anger that he won't/can't get off of his ass to do something about it. Then the anger starts because I know "she" is part of all of that and I wish she didn't put so many demands on him and I wish he wouldn't let her...it's all so stupid. The whole freakin' thing. Guilt makes people do stupid things.

We should both be over it by now, but we aren't. Why??? I wish I freakin' knew, it would probably make things easier for both of us. At least lie to me and tell me that you don't still love me...okay, maybe not.

That's enough for now...